Shattered

There is nothing more damaging, shattering to a person than abuse.  Abuse comes in
many forms, physical, emotional, financial, spiritual.  Abuse in all its forms has one
common end result;  it shatters a person from the inside out.  It robs of all self-esteem,
self-worth and replaces these with self-loathing and worthlessness. 

We all know the signs of physical abuse, it is very evident to the eye.  However emotional,
financial and spiritual abuse are much harder to spot.  If you know the person well, you
will be able to eventually see the changes that emotional abuse produces.  The victim will
become withdrawn, changes in personality will be noted.  Excuses for not going places, not
being able to do things normally enjoyed will become the norm.  They will become less
confident and more subdued. 

Those suffering from emotional abuse will become deadened on the inside over time.  Denial
becomes a safe haven to hide in.  It is as if refusing to feel will help steel them against the
hurt that is constantly being thrown at them.  When you repeatedly hear that you are stupid,
ugly, no good, a bad mother, wife or girlfriend, you eventually start believing it!

To suffer from financial abuse is to have all money denied you.  You have no spending
money, no access to bank accounts.  You have to ask for anything you need.  This is
demeaning and places you in a subservient position.  Your basic needs are only supplied
after you are placed in a position of having to ask.  It is degrading to beg for money for
tampons, underwear, deodorant and soap!  In this circumstance, the abuser expects to
feel your gratitude when he deems these things needed.

Spiritual abuse wrecks havoc with your faith.  God is used to threaten you into being
a submissive spouse.  If you do not do what your abuser demands you will have the
wrath of a vengeful God fall upon you.  God is used as the boggy man.  A woman's
faith and relationship with her loving Lord and Savior can be greatly damaged, as
over time her view of God is altered.

Are you experiencing domestic abuse?  Are any of these things obvious to you...maybe
not to others, but they will be to you.  I hid the abuse I was living with for over 20 years,
my closest friends and family had no idea what I was suffering...but I knew.  May I
encourage you today to seek help!  There are organizations available to help you.
www.verbalabusejournals.com is a wonderful place to start.  You will be teamed up with
a mentor who will guide you through this mess at any pace you need to go. 

My autobiography is online @ www.cindylea62behindthesmile.blogspot.com  I have been
on this journey.  I know how difficult it is, but I also know that it is possible to come out
the other side.  Yes, I was shattered, but I was mended, and you can be as well!